Day 54: "I Got Mine"

The ride today was fabulous-a short 75 miles :-) from London to Hamilton. The weather was beautiful, the roads were smooth, and there were numerous refreshment stops hosted by the churches of the area. In addition to those stops, we regularly encountered people who cheered us on from their front yards-families, senior citizens, kids and their dogs. We have been blessed again and again by the reception we've received from the Canadian CRC.

One example: Johnny took his bike to the bike shop in Chatham to deal with a chronic problem he has been nursing since Seattle. The repairman tells him that he also needs new tires. They're not cheap. His bill came to $107. When he pulled out his credit card the shuttle driver (taking bikers from camp to the shop) pulled out his wallet and said, "Let me get that for you." Johnny protested, but the driver insisted and Johnny joyfully acquiesced.

Grace, grace, and more grace.

Contrast that with the attitude I exhibited at the school last night.

One of the precious resources on the Tour is computer/internet access. The Tour's attempt to make it available has been erratic at best. So, when we reach a destination, we scurry for the nearest library and the people who brought their own laptops look for the nearest point of wireless access. Since we've added the 60 new riders in Grand Rapids, this resource has become even more precious.

In Richmond, MI we flooded the library. The librarians wanted to give everyone a little access, so they limited our use to 15 minute time blocks. It was irritating to hear, "You have 15 minutes," when you needed an hour, but fair. I thanked the librarians for their extra work.

Last night we stayed at the Christian H.S. in London. They had a computer lab with 20 computers. Hallelujah! After the Peloton gathering, I went into the lab to blog. Of the 20 computers, only two were able to get on the internet. How disappointing!

Fortunately, there were only a few of us in the lab, so when the person using one of the computers was finished she offered it to the person sitting next to her. Neil had come into the room after me and offered me the computer. I gladly accepted his offer.

He went to another part of the lab and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more, while I and the person on the other working computer worked on our blogs. I don't know what he was doing at the back of the room, because I did my best to ignore him. While he sat there, people regularly came into the lab and sat down and we would inform them that the other computers did not work. I thought, "There is no way these two computers will meet the needs of everyone who wants to use one," and that justified my monopoly on its time. "Since the number of computers is so inadequate, I might as well keep using this one."

I completed the two days of blogging I wanted to do. I must admit that I was not entirely comfortable as I blogged. I hoped that Neil had left, and didn't look around to see if he was still there. At one point I flinched when I caught a glimpse of him still in the room. "He's still there?" My next thought was, "Well, I'm almost done." As Cindy will attest, my "almost" can stretch out for a long time. But "almost" allowed me to keep typing.

The other computer user finally finished and Neil used his computer for 15 minutes and left. A short time later I finished my blogs. The guilt and shame didn't hit until I got back to my tent. "How could you be such a pig?" "You could have handled it so much better." A simple question, "How long do you need it?" would have helpful, along with the information that I needed it for a long time. I knew why I didn't ask the obvious. If I had said that, someone might have challenged the length of time I intended to use it. So, to preserve my prosperity, I kept my mouth shut. It was greed in its purest form.

When I realized what I had done, I wanted to confess my wrong. The next morning I found Neil at breakfast and apologized. He graciously accepted my apology; didn't take advantage of his opportunity to slam me. He said, "It wasn't that big a deal to me, or I would have said something while I was waiting. Thanks for your apology." And then the clincher, "Did you get done what you wanted." I examined his words carefully for a note of sarcasm, but there was none. More grace.

Throughout this Tour I have rejoiced in the freedom God has given me from multiple sclerosis. God has done a great work in my life, enabling me to ride my bike 3900 miles, after living with M.S. for 24 years. Yesterday, I rode like a bat out of hell (O.K., a slow bat) for 24 miles, caught my breath, rode another 20 miles, and then went to the Velodrome and worked up a sweat on a fixed gear bike. M.S. robs so many people of energy to do their normal routine; God has granted me enough energy to perform a very abnormal routine. Praise God!

Today, I am praying that God will do something even greater. I am praying that he will deliver me from my greed and self-centeredness.

The same attitude I exhibited in the lab can be seen in my response to global poverty. One of the main goals of this Tour has been to raise awareness of global poverty. Today, I am aware that "I got mine," trumps any awareness of poverty.

I wanted and needed to confess my computer greed to Neil. I am hoping for the opportunity to be generous with computer access, ideally to Neil, but anybody else will do. I want and need to confess the more profound ways my greed hurts others, especially the poor. I am hoping that this confession weakens the hold of "I got mine," on my heart, and replaces it with a very important question, "Do you have yours?"

I think greed is more dangerous, damaging, and difficult to deal with than multiple sclerosis.

Jesus, Savior, have mercy on me, a sinner.