Day 49: Biker Jim or Pastor Jim

In the warmth of family love and the familiar places of home, there was a surprising chill to my day in Grand Rapids. It reminds me of our ride down from Steven's Pass, along the Wenatchee River, on the second day of the Tour. Every now and then a cold wind, a guesstimated 15 degrees cooler, would blow through us as we raced down the canyon. That wind felt good; the one blowing around Grand Rapids did not.

I lay in my own bed on Saturday night, tired, and couldn't get to sleep. First time in my own bed in 7 weeks and I can't fall asleep? What's going on?

I went to my home church-Eastern Avenue CRC-on Sunday morning and was enthusiastically received. The Celebration Rally that afternoon featured powerful sharing from Tyler B about reaching his destination of serving the poor even though an injury is preventing him from reaching the biking distination of Jersey City. Kyle wrote, played, and sang a beautiful song that left us all speechless. The guest speaker, Shane C., issued a strong challenge to let our actions reveal our identify. " They will know we are Christians by our love (for the poor)." After the rally I went to my newly married son's home for dinner with my lots of family members. Wonderful time!

Yet, there was an uncomfortable chill in the air. Where was it coming from? Coming down from Steven's Pass we figured out that the cool wind was blowing in off the Wenatchee River. Where was this one coming from?

I think it came from the way the world of biking, that I've been living in for the last 7 weeks, was bumping against the normal world I inhabit. They are very different worlds.

And I am a different person in those worlds. I have been "Pastor Jim" for 27 years, and "Biker Jim" for 7 weeks. Biker Jim"" is apprehensive about what he'll be giving up to be "Pastor Jim" again.

Biker Jim is doing something extraordinary-riding his bike across the country. Pastor Jim does more ordinary things-leading groups, counseling individuals, attending meetings, and occasionally preaching. Good things, meaningful things, common things.

Biker Jim has received lots of affirmation and praise. "You're my hero," "You amaze me,"and "Ï'm so proud of you," are some of the more memorable quotes. Pastor Jim gets plenty of praise, but it is a quieter praise that he sometimes has to read between the lines to hear.

Biker Jim always knows what to do. He eats, sleeps, and bikes. He sets up his tent every afternoon and takes it down every morning. Except on Sundays; then his tent stays put. Once every 10 days he serves breakfast and dinner to the camp and cleans up afterwards. He goes to public libraries, when they are available, to blog. Pastor Jim is sometimes confused and pulled in different directions. He often has a hard time deciding what to do and frequently thinks he should be doing something other than what he is doing.


Biker Jim believes he has done all that he has to do when he completes a ride. Anything else is extra. He can be content doing nothing, because he's already ridden an average of 72 miles that day. Biker Jim's conscience is quiet. He feels good about what he is doing and the way he is doing it. He believes his actions are meaningful as well as enjoyable. Pastor Jim thinks that there is always something else he should be doing. He doesn't necessarily do it, but his conscience nags him.

Biker Jim doesn't have much stuff to take care of. When Biker Jim goes to church he decides between his blue gym shorts and his beige khakis with a stain on the front pocket. Biker Jim notices the stain, but thinks it doesn't matter. When Pastor Jim goes to church he has many decisions to make about what to wear. Stains are unacceptable.

When Biker Jim's hands get dirty cleaning his bike, he washes them with soap and waits for time to remove the remnants of the grease. Pastor Jim first washes with soap and then uses a special, abrasive "hand goo" to clean his hands and nails. If he doesn't get it all off, and it is very hard to get all the grease off, he will try to keep his hands in his pockets.

Biker Jim eats whatever he wants to eat and still loses weight. He snacks on Giant Paydays, eats two helpings of everything he likes at dinner, and devours cookies. Pastor Jim hadn't eaten a Giant Payday in years.

Even the things they have in common seem different. Biker Jim knows that he has multiple sclerosis-he's even had a scare once or twice-but he's never had an attack on the road, so the disease doesn't feel as close. On the road Biker Jim is doing something most people with M.S. are not able to do. As he rides he feels blessed, strong, rising above the disease that once put him in a wheelchair-transcendent. Pastor Jim has experienced several attacks in his world and is anxious about physical irregularities. Pastor Jim does not transcend the disease, but lives and moves in the valley of the shadow of multiple sclerosis.

There are many advantages to being Pastor Jim, but Biker Jim wants Pastor Jim to know that he is facing some real losses as well. Biker Jim believes he is being asked to "let go"of the glory, the excitement, the simplicity, and the guilt free self-centeredness of the Bike Tour. Pastor Jim is trying to listen to Biker Jim and learn from him. Pastor Jim thinks some aspects of Biker Jim will enhance his life; he is also clear that other things-like Giant Paydays-will have to go.

Pastor Jim has only recently become aware of Biker Jim; and Biker Jim did not realize how different he is from Pastor Jim. I am hopeful that they will be able to get along-they have a lot in common. This blog is an attempt to provide a healthy relationship's most essential characteristic-communication. Just being aware of each other and talking to each other may be enough to take the mysterious chill out of the air at home.

I'll find out in two weeks.